if you notice this notice,you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing but is noticable

IF U NOTICE THIS NOTICE
U WILL NOTICE THAT THIS NOTICE IS NOT WORTH NOTICING
HA HE HA HE

(on the back of a bike riders t-shirt)
- If you can read this, she fell off
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this istrue
kids these days don't eat enough beans

For a pool:
WELCOME TO OUR OOL [POOL] NOTICE THERE IS NO P [PEE] IN IT LETS KEEP IT THAT WAY [LOL]

a sigh for the beach;
hopefully there are no sharks here today if you witness a shark attack call our numbe: 1800 I HAVE BEEN ATTAKED BY A SHARK (not a real number).

on a pool fence:
u r welcome 2 use our ool
notice theres no pee in it keep it that way!

Crazy Bumper stickers!
I'd rather push this Holden than drive your Ford!
They couldn't fix my brakes, so they made my horn louder!
Sign in Harbour: Speed Camera Area.

On a welcome roadsign:
We have 2 cemterys and 0 hospitals.
Drive Safely

(this is a real one)
Wallgreens in ****, AZ:Hoppy Easter Savings

These are some bumper stickers I've seen or heard of.
Resistance is NOT futile...
My homeschool student can beat up your honor student.
Jeb-errish

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.
At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?
At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.
At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.
At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
At a Towing Company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
At a Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.
Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
Ford stands for:
Fix Or Repair Daily!!!!

On the door in a bathroom:
If you tinkle, and make a sprinkle.
Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

This was a street sign:
Hitormiss Ln
guess you better make it the first time
(HitOrMiss)

Funerol home: amigone
street name: no name
Farm sign: Used cows for sale

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: . You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:

Bumper sticker: Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
On bottom of chip dip: Do not turn upside-down.

What does the word FORD stand for?
Found Off Road Dead!

Bumper Sticker: "If you can read this, you're too close."
Bumper Sticker: "They couldn't fix my brakes, so they made my horn louder."
Bumper Sticker: "Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home."

Sign at a tee shop :
We sell:
Frapashinos,mocachinos and coffe whip.